Talking to Your Partner: A Script for Support
Choose the version that best fits your current relationship dynamic.
Option 1: The "Nervous System" Approach
Focus: The ripple effect on the whole house.
"I’ve realized that I’ve been stuck in survival mode for a long time, and it’s affecting how I show up for you and the kids. I’m finding myself reacting with rage or just totally shutting down because my nervous system is overloaded.
I found a therapist who specializes in 'intensives.' Instead of me going to weekly therapy for the next year, I want to do a deep-dive session to reset my baseline. It’s an investment, but it’s designed to get me feeling like myself again—grounded and present—much faster. It’s not just for me; it’s so I can stop being the 'default' for all the stress in this house."
Option 2: The "Efficiency & ROI" Approach
Focus: Time, money, and results.
"I want to do a therapy intensive to work through this burnout and the mental load I’ve been carrying. I looked into it, and doing a 6-hour intensive is actually more effective than six months of traditional therapy because we don't waste time on 'catch-up.'
It uses specialized tools like Brainspotting, somatic work and IFS to get to the root of why I’m so depleted. It’s a larger upfront cost, but it saves us the childcare and time of weekly appointments for the next year, and it gets us to a better place as a family by next month, not next year."
Option 3: The "Relationship Connection" Approach
Focus: Bringing back the partner, not just the mom.
"I feel like I’ve lost 'me' in the midst of parenting and work, and I know you’ve probably felt that distance too. I’m tired of being 'roommates' and I'm tired of being exhausted.
I’ve found an intensive program that helps moms reclaim their identity and voice. I need this time to reconnect with myself so I can actually have the capacity to reconnect with us. I need your support to carve out this day/weekend so I can do this deep work and come back with my cup actually full for once."
3 Tips for Having the "Investment" Conversation
Don't Ask for Permission; Ask for Partnership: Start with "I have decided this is the next step for my health" rather than "Is it okay if I...?" This sets the tone that your mental health is a non-negotiable priority.
Highlight the "Direct Benefit": Partners usually want a happier spouse and a more peaceful home. Emphasize that this intensive is the fastest route to less conflict and more connection.
Address the Childcare Logistically: Have a plan for who will watch the kids during your intensive. Presenting the solution ("My mom is coming over" or "I've cleared your Saturday") makes it easier for them to say "Yes."